Ram Kapoor and the celebrity campaign to normalise cheating
On Lock Upp, Ram Kapoor said cheating in a marriage is not a dealbreaker. Fine. Whatever works for him and others. But what is it with celebrities trying to normalise infidelity in these shows?
Actor Ram Kapoor is hardly the first celebrity to defend infidelity, but he is the latest to do so with surprising conviction. During his appearance on Lock Upp, the 52-year-old argued that cheating in a marriage is not a "dealbreaker" - that if it happens once during a rough phase, it should be forgiven as a mistake, provided the partner eventually realises their error and comes back home.
His remarks are not an isolated opinion. They are part of an increasingly familiar pattern in the entertainment industry, where celebrities across films, OTT and television appear more willing than ever to frame infidelity as an unfortunate but ordinary part of long-term relationships. One "mistake", a weak moment or a lapse of judgement that shouldn't outweigh years of marriage.
The question is: when did betrayal stop being a breach of trust and start becoming something we are expected to understand, accommodate and eventually normalise?
The idea, as disturbing as it is, has seeped into conversations like another inevitable consequence of glamorous lives—spoken with a confidence that almost suggests fidelity is an outdated expectation. It is no longer discussed as a personal failing. It is being presented as emotional maturity, as realism and as the price of long marriages.
Has betrayal now become something we are expected to simply factor into the institution of marriage or committed relationships?
What makes these conversations particularly uncomfortable is not that celebrities admit to the existence of infidelity. Affairs have always existed. People cheat and marriages survive them. Many don't - that is the reality. However, the problem begins when reality is being rethought of as an inevitability, as if casually saying "Yeah, so what? That happens."
When Ram Kapoor calls cheating a "mistake", he isn't just describing human fallibility, he is diluting accountability. A mistake is sending a message to the wrong person. Forgetting an anniversary is a mistake. Missing an important date is a mistake. Cheating is not accidental. It is a series of conscious decisions made over hours, days or even months, where every conversation is entertained, every lie is deliberately told, and every boundary is knowingly crossed. To call it a momentary lapse is to erase the many moments that led to it.
Which is also why fellow contestant Akanksha Chamola's response struck a chord. "It doesn't happen by mistake. It's a process," she said. In one sentence, she dismantled the comforting fiction that infidelity simply happens to people.
But is Kapoor alone?
Celebrity conversations have been arriving at a similar conclusion for years now - quite strangely so! On podcasts, talk shows and reality television, infidelity is being discussed as an understandable occupational hazard of modern relationships, and not as a breach of trust.
One public figure, like Twinkle Khanna, argued that one mistake should not define decades of marriage. She said, "Raat gayi, baat gayi" (what happened, happened, move on), arguing that one can move past physical cheating with time. For another, like actor Neetu Singh once said, what matters is that the spouse comes back home. Someone else, like reality show personality Tabinda Sanpal of Desi Bling fame, suggested multiple casual encounters are preferable to one emotional affair because at least feelings are not involved. The goalposts keep shifting - all to normalise infidelity.
The conversation moves away from asking whether cheating is wrong to negotiating what kind of cheating should be considered acceptable. Trust is secondary in all these conversations and emotional devastation is considered an overreaction.
These conversations also strictly shift the expectations in a relationship from loyalty to forgiveness. Which is why the onus now lies on the betrayed partner to prove they are mature enough to move on rather than on the unfaithful partner to reckon with the consequences of their choices.
You know what is the more worrying part about these opinions? No, it is not that these opinions exist, it is the fact that influential voices repeatedly package these personal choices as universally accepted wisdom. So, while everyone is entitled to define their boundaries in a relationship and if two consenting adults decide infidelity is not a dealbreaker for them, then fine - to each their own. But it is concerning when a Karan Johar, who said physical cheating was not a dealbreaker in relationships because "Thand lag jaati hai kabhi kabhi," propagates the idea of forgiving it, moving on and that done once in a relationship is fine.
Celebrities don't just entertain, they also shape conversations. Their words travel far beyond studio sets and podcast couches. When enough famous voices begin describing cheating as "normal", "natural" or "just one mistake", they slowly chip away at the very language we use to describe betrayal. Accountability softens, expectations lower and the extraordinary starts sounding ordinary.
Is this what we call becoming more emotionally evolved about relationships? Or are we simply becoming more comfortable finding sophisticated ways to excuse behaviour that has always broken trust?
As to the Ram Kapoors of the world, the next step is to stop calling it cheating altogether. "Character development" has a nice ring to it.
Actor Ram Kapoor is hardly the first celebrity to defend infidelity, but he is the latest to do so with surprising conviction. During his appearance on Lock Upp, the 52-year-old argued that cheating in a marriage is not a "dealbreaker" - that if it happens once during a rough phase, it should be forgiven as a mistake, provided the partner eventually realises their error and comes back home.
His remarks are not an isolated opinion. They are part of an increasingly familiar pattern in the entertainment industry, where celebrities across films, OTT and television appear more willing than ever to frame infidelity as an unfortunate but ordinary part of long-term relationships. One "mistake", a weak moment or a lapse of judgement that shouldn't outweigh years of marriage.
The question is: when did betrayal stop being a breach of trust and start becoming something we are expected to understand, accommodate and eventually normalise?
The idea, as disturbing as it is, has seeped into conversations like another inevitable consequence of glamorous lives—spoken with a confidence that almost suggests fidelity is an outdated expectation. It is no longer discussed as a personal failing. It is being presented as emotional maturity, as realism and as the price of long marriages.
Has betrayal now become something we are expected to simply factor into the institution of marriage or committed relationships?
What makes these conversations particularly uncomfortable is not that celebrities admit to the existence of infidelity. Affairs have always existed. People cheat and marriages survive them. Many don't - that is the reality. However, the problem begins when reality is being rethought of as an inevitability, as if casually saying "Yeah, so what? That happens."
When Ram Kapoor calls cheating a "mistake", he isn't just describing human fallibility, he is diluting accountability. A mistake is sending a message to the wrong person. Forgetting an anniversary is a mistake. Missing an important date is a mistake. Cheating is not accidental. It is a series of conscious decisions made over hours, days or even months, where every conversation is entertained, every lie is deliberately told, and every boundary is knowingly crossed. To call it a momentary lapse is to erase the many moments that led to it.
Which is also why fellow contestant Akanksha Chamola's response struck a chord. "It doesn't happen by mistake. It's a process," she said. In one sentence, she dismantled the comforting fiction that infidelity simply happens to people.
But is Kapoor alone?
Celebrity conversations have been arriving at a similar conclusion for years now - quite strangely so! On podcasts, talk shows and reality television, infidelity is being discussed as an understandable occupational hazard of modern relationships, and not as a breach of trust.
One public figure, like Twinkle Khanna, argued that one mistake should not define decades of marriage. She said, "Raat gayi, baat gayi" (what happened, happened, move on), arguing that one can move past physical cheating with time. For another, like actor Neetu Singh once said, what matters is that the spouse comes back home. Someone else, like reality show personality Tabinda Sanpal of Desi Bling fame, suggested multiple casual encounters are preferable to one emotional affair because at least feelings are not involved. The goalposts keep shifting - all to normalise infidelity.
The conversation moves away from asking whether cheating is wrong to negotiating what kind of cheating should be considered acceptable. Trust is secondary in all these conversations and emotional devastation is considered an overreaction.
These conversations also strictly shift the expectations in a relationship from loyalty to forgiveness. Which is why the onus now lies on the betrayed partner to prove they are mature enough to move on rather than on the unfaithful partner to reckon with the consequences of their choices.
You know what is the more worrying part about these opinions? No, it is not that these opinions exist, it is the fact that influential voices repeatedly package these personal choices as universally accepted wisdom. So, while everyone is entitled to define their boundaries in a relationship and if two consenting adults decide infidelity is not a dealbreaker for them, then fine - to each their own. But it is concerning when a Karan Johar, who said physical cheating was not a dealbreaker in relationships because "Thand lag jaati hai kabhi kabhi," propagates the idea of forgiving it, moving on and that done once in a relationship is fine.
Celebrities don't just entertain, they also shape conversations. Their words travel far beyond studio sets and podcast couches. When enough famous voices begin describing cheating as "normal", "natural" or "just one mistake", they slowly chip away at the very language we use to describe betrayal. Accountability softens, expectations lower and the extraordinary starts sounding ordinary.
Is this what we call becoming more emotionally evolved about relationships? Or are we simply becoming more comfortable finding sophisticated ways to excuse behaviour that has always broken trust?
As to the Ram Kapoors of the world, the next step is to stop calling it cheating altogether. "Character development" has a nice ring to it.
