Friendship burnout: How therapists are handling as many issues among friends as couples
The new relationship challenge is to simply figure out how to remain good friends through urban life's upheavals
Over the past year, she has deliberately shrunk her social circle. “I have fewer friends now, but my relationships feel healthier.”
Psychologists say Aditi’s experience reflects a growing trend among young urban Indians. Alongside loneliness, many are now dealing with something else—friendship burnout. It’s the feeling of being emotionally drained by friendships that demand constant time, attention and validation.
Psychologist Rohini Khattar says she has noticed a clear shift in her practice. “A few years ago, most people came in because of romantic relationships. Now, I see many more friendship issues,” she says.
“People are struggling with betrayals, changing equations and what I call love-hate friendships. They’re deeply attached to their friends, but they’re also deeply hurt by them,” adds Khattar.
Friendships today often carry far greater emotional expectations than they once did. Friends are expected to be therapists, travel companions, emergency contacts and the first person you call after a bad day. Social media only raises the stakes. A missed reply, an unseen story or an invitation someone wasn’t included in can quickly spiral into resentment.
Khattar says another pattern stands out: “People expect friendships to remain exactly as they were at 22, even though careers, marriages and responsibilities naturally change priorities. They interpret distance as rejection.”
Long work hours, relocations and packed schedules mean people have less time to invest in friendships. Yet the expectation of constant availability has only increased. That mismatch is showing up in therapy rooms.
The trend does not mean friendships are becoming less important. If anything, experts say they have become more important—and more emotionally demanding. As friends increasingly replace family, community and even romantic partners for emotional support, the pressure on these relationships has grown. For many urban Indians, the biggest relationship challenge today may not be finding love. It may simply be figuring out how to remain good friends without burning out.
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Over the past year, she has deliberately shrunk her social circle. “I have fewer friends now, but my relationships feel healthier.”
Psychologists say Aditi’s experience reflects a growing trend among young urban Indians. Alongside loneliness, many are now dealing with something else—friendship burnout. It’s the feeling of being emotionally drained by friendships that demand constant time, attention and validation.
Psychologist Rohini Khattar says she has noticed a clear shift in her practice. “A few years ago, most people came in because of romantic relationships. Now, I see many more friendship issues,” she says.
“People are struggling with betrayals, changing equations and what I call love-hate friendships. They’re deeply attached to their friends, but they’re also deeply hurt by them,” adds Khattar.
Friendships today often carry far greater emotional expectations than they once did. Friends are expected to be therapists, travel companions, emergency contacts and the first person you call after a bad day. Social media only raises the stakes. A missed reply, an unseen story or an invitation someone wasn’t included in can quickly spiral into resentment.
Khattar says another pattern stands out: “People expect friendships to remain exactly as they were at 22, even though careers, marriages and responsibilities naturally change priorities. They interpret distance as rejection.”
Long work hours, relocations and packed schedules mean people have less time to invest in friendships. Yet the expectation of constant availability has only increased. That mismatch is showing up in therapy rooms.
The trend does not mean friendships are becoming less important. If anything, experts say they have become more important—and more emotionally demanding. As friends increasingly replace family, community and even romantic partners for emotional support, the pressure on these relationships has grown. For many urban Indians, the biggest relationship challenge today may not be finding love. It may simply be figuring out how to remain good friends without burning out.
Subscribe to India Today Magazine
